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Her�sin taas pari p�iv� sitten huomaamaan, ett� nyt voisi taas olla el�m�ss� se hetki, kun oikeasti joutuu p�tt�m�n jotain. Joskus sillon kauan kauan sitten ysill� luulin, ett� on suurtakin v�li� mihin hakee peruskoulun j�lkeen. Nyt voin kertoa, ett� ei sill� viel� silloin ole.

Nyt tuntuu ihan samalta. Luulin koko ajan edes suunnilleen tiet�v�ni mit� aion lukion j�lkeen tehd�. Sitten tein virheen (teink� ja aloin selailla yliopistojen ja ammattikorkeiden tarjontaa. Ja hups, heti pamahti p�h�n sata suunnitelmaa lis�.

Viel� viikko sitten mieless� siinteli yliopisto sektorilla Tampere/Turku/Jyv�skyl�. Psykologia tai liikuntatieteet.
Ja mit� nyt? Ensihoito, jota voisin opiskella ammattikorkeissa Kotkassa, Helsingiss� Oulussa, Tampereella tai jos tylsyys iskee, niin vaikka Kuopiossa

Nyt voisi joku isompi ja viisaampi kertoa, ett� jaksanko oikeesti panostaa t�h�n valintaan ja mietti� mit� jaksan tehd� ehk� koko loppu el�m�ni. Vai tuleeko eteen sama ahaa kuin lukion ykk�sell�?

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Iapos;m starting to get a tiny bit annoyed.

I have spend the morning trick or treating on various toons, collecting Halloween salvage. And have not seen a� SINGLE invasion in all the time I was on. How is anyone supposed to pick up any badges with maybe ONE invasion a day? Youapos;ll have to be extremely lucky to be on just then OR spend the whole day just waiting.

From what Iapos;ve heard in badging channels there have been a few yesterday on Union but only one at 5am on Zukunft and Defiant. WUT?? Whatapos;s the point to that? And if itapos;s a bug - FIX�IT

*grump*

At least I was able to refill my Halloween salvage stash more than halfway.

And Clover spend hers right away for costume slot number three. This is the tech outfiit I have come up with for her. It may not be the most creative but I think she looks quite cool. And at the end of the day that is enough for me.

Iapos;ve also tried to make some screenies of the various temp costumes I have found by now but they are all a bit too dark with the eternal night.

Leesha (my fire/doubleblades tank) has found a pirate ghost costume complete with a ghost parrot on his shoulder. He looks really funny with his doubleblades out.

So apart from the missing Zombie Invasion the event is a lot of fun.

BRING�ON�THOSE�ZOMBIES

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So, Iapos;ve had a shit week.� Iapos;ve had a cold for about a week, but by now itapos;s been reduced to the sniffles.� The first half of the week, however, was spent in fever-time.� So, yeah, Iapos;m not even sure how I managed to go through school those days and actually be functional.�

I had this HUGE paper due�in my composition class (like, 4 pages, with an interview and various other types of sources).� And Iapos;d been procrastinating, as usual, so the entire thing was written while I was under the influence of my fever.� I ended up scrapping almost my entire first draft, and when I finished the first rewrite I had to flip the whole thing around because my teacher told me to flip my thesis around (to make it more "interesting").�

Anyway, I finally got the thing typed up and printed out, and the only thing left to do was print out the bibliography.� This is the point at which my printer decided to become insane.� I pull up the bib, hit print, and begin to relax.� The following conversation then transpired between the printer and I:

Printer:� Check ink cartridges.
Me:� Ok... *checks cartridges*� Theyapos;re fine.� *hits print*
Printer:� Check ink cartridges.
Me:� I just bloody checked them� Why are you doing this?� *takes out and then reinserts cartridges*
Printer:� No ink cartridges detected.� Please insert cartridges.
Me:� The inkapos;s right there� I just put it back� *hits printer*
Printer:� *dies*

Needless to say, my bibliography (arguably more important than the paper, according to my teacher) has not been printed.� I briefly panic, and then remember that I can print things off at school.� This is my new plan.� I have composition later in the day (but before lunch, this is important later), and figure Iapos;ll have plenty of time to print something.

I arrive at school about ten minutes early, enough time to print out one sheet, right?� I log into an open computer, open up the page I need printed, and hit print.� The computer is not connected to the printer.� It tells me this, and asks would I like to connect to the printer now?� Even if this was allowed I now only have about five minutes until the first bell rings, so no, I would not like.� I log out and attempt to log into another computer.� At this point I am panicking, and apparently have entered the wrong password.� The computer tells me this, after making me wait several minutes of hair-pulling impatience.� This is bad, but I reason that I will have time to print out the bib during our break.

I donapos;t.� Instead, I attempt logging in to several computers, none of which work for me, and then am nearly late to my composition class.� I must have looked particularly pathetic, because the teacher let me bring it in later.�

I printed it out during lunch in less than five minutes, and briefly contemplated kicking the computer that hadnapos;t worked for me that morning.� I wanted to bring it to my teacher during lunch, but I could not find him.� Decided I could turn it in after school but there was a teacher meeting.� I did turn it in the next morning, and was much relieved.� I got my paper back yesterday, and it turns out I got an A.� Iapos;m very relieved that my troubles werenapos;t for nothing, or this wouldapos;ve been a shittier week.

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Last week I took a trip to Costco. This trip had three specific items on sale to get: Progresso Soup, Cascade dishwashing stuff and Excedrin. But getting in and out with just what you need at Costco is difficult...maybe because the definition of need changes? Even in the midst of an economic downturn lol

I was actually very good. I indulged in really just one thing. New towels. Theyapos;re thick, plush, a gorgeous blue and a very nice size And just $7.50 Of course had to get two bath towels and then it was a nother $20 to get the hand/washcloth stuff. I so love them though Yay for simple pleasures

Other simple pleasures of late is how well, relatively, my father is doing. He is gaining some control over his left side at the rehab center. By the end of one week he can move his left leg, can touch his individual fingers to his thumb, almost can grab something, and can slowly get up steps. He is a very lucky man.

There is still much family upheaval. Paying the hospital bill will be a neat trick, I need to research some things like bankruptcy. But its good to hear my Dad doing well and feeling so proud of himself and hopeful. Its been a long time.

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KLIK, KLIK (houder open)

knip, knip. (cartridge uit de verpakking)

in de houder.

klik, klik. (houder dicht)

printer aan.

Klik, klik. (houder open)

plastic beschermlaagje alsnog verwijderen.

klik, klik. (houder dicht)

Kledder (deksel valt te hard dicht, ik moet het deksel blijkbaar vasthouden als ik de standaard losmaak)

Printer aan.

Ja, doet het.

DVD speler aan.

Nieuwe film erin.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

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art of taking minutes

I missed a couple days. Whoops.

Not much to report here. A lovely fall is well underway, with lots of cool, sunny, fall days. The leaves are just beginning to get going on their changing, so it promises to be a long one - that is as long as it doesn't freeze soon.

B is talking up a storm all the time, and it hilarious most of the time.

Burns begin to itch like MAD when they start healing.....and it is annoying me. I haven't felt this kind of itch since my last tattoo......argh

There is an apple pie in my oven - and it is beginning to smell wonderful.

And it is Friday. Which is always welcome.

That's about the size of things.

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So, Iapos;m not sure why Iapos;m feeling so tired all of the sudden. Last night I slept pretty good, even got to bed at a decent hour... And yet, I still hit the snooze, slept in 20 minutes, and still feel like I need more sleep. And yesterday I had the same problem. I donapos;t want to spend every weekend sleeping 15 hours a day. On the other hand, I donapos;t want to feel this tired during my days, especially when Iapos;m trying to concentrate on work or a class that is already boring. I drifted off again in my archaeological methods class both days this week; Iapos;m pretty sure it wasnapos;t even worth it for me to go because I took down very few notes and I donapos;t remember much of what the professor talked about. Scratch that: I donapos;t remember anything the professor talked about.
In other news, tonight I am probably going over to Cameronapos;s house to hang out with him and some of his friends... Which I did last Friday too, and it helped to temporarily keep my mind off things. At the same time, itapos;s weird, because a) heapos;s my ex, and b) these are his friends. I dunno why the last bothers me, except that Iapos;ve come to the realization that all the people I consider friends that I know in person are people I met through Cameron. I donapos;t think Iapos;ve made a friend on my own since my junior year of high school. How sad is that?
But oh well. You know what? Iapos;m going to try to have fun embarrassing myself on RockBand and matching snarky comments for snarky comments. Weapos;ll see how that goes.
In other, other news.... I am very sick of campus food. I need to buy a fridge and a microwave, so at least I can have some variety in my food. Or borrow money for a meal plan, so I can go to the buffet thing they have here and not have to pay $10 for dinner. Blargh. I canapos;t decide which option would be better. The former would be less expensive, but on the other hand, I hardly ever leave campus, and itapos;s a pain to walk back to my dorm room, so if I wanted lunch or something, Iapos;d have to bring it, which would be okay... But I know myself. I wouldnapos;t make lunch in the morning, because I usually donapos;t leave myself enough time. I wish I had stayed in the dorm room I lived the first 2 years I was here; that place had a kitchen, which was ever so nice.
Bleh, off to get some bland lunch. Hoorah *Sarcasm*



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Miss shoshobaby needs some change on some real shit.. Like i just need the perfect school to appear right before my eyes.. Like i would miss my peoples here but its definately worth it to be in my city NY.. To be seeing new faces here and there.. Like i really wanna be invisible for a minute when i walk around campus but i always run into people i dont wanna see but end up saying hi too.

idk man.. Theres so much here for me but just not enough of the right things..

umm i can be happy about broken social scene in boston with my homie taja.. Like iapos;ve love/appreciated their music for sooooooo long and i really need to see them.. ON SOME ReAlll shit tho.. This is some beautiful ass music.. Like nobitchassness at all

sober on thirsty thursday? what? i was tipsy like 4 hrs ago tho but everyone dipped on mee..

who am i rite now. Like really?
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Wow, itapos;s been a long time since I wrote on here, I completely forgot I even had this account. A few things have changed since my last entries, itapos;s been almost a year since those entries crazy enough. I fought the depression back, and won, and with moving to my old town I did exactly what I set out to do. I was only there for a short time, couple months, but it gave me time to regain my composure. I moved on, and back into the city of salt.

Scary move at first. I kept imagining things going back to exactly the way they were before and thats not something I really want to be a part of again. Iapos;m still unsure, nine months into it, If it was really the best move, but in a lot of ways itapos;s been great. I got a job with pepsi for a while and just recently moved on to a new job working for Red Bull. Iapos;m making more money now then I think I ever have, scratch that, then I KNOW�I ever have. Itapos;s a good feeling to not be broke at the end of every month and to be able to go out and do things, or just buy something that I like. I just need to learn to manage the money a little better so I can save up rather than throw it all down the drain or pour it into my PS3.� Things are decent at best up here and iapos;m happy with that. Content, but not ready to give up.

In some ways though, I did just step into the same vicious, lonely circle that I left Salt Lake with. Iapos;ve ditched many of my old friends due to lack of interests, or just lack of interest and really havenapos;t made the time, or the effort to make new ones. It seems like half the people I meet are "too good" or too stupid and itapos;s easier to just go about my business on my own. My brother being here really helps out though. Heapos;s my best friend and itapos;s nice to have him around, when he can be around. Due to him being around though iapos;ve hit the bottle pretty hard inthe last couple months, spending the majority of every weekend drunk in a bar or stumbling downtown in need of coffee, a good woman, and something iapos;m not sure of yet. Itapos;s a fun time though, and I think thats whats most important.

As far as dating goes...forget it. Itapos;s been one bad experience after another it seems, ever since Megan left Iapos;ve tried a few different routes, they either end up dead ends, or they donapos;t and I wish they had. Most of that is my own failure to really speak up or ask anyone, but it seems like all of the women who catch my attention at taken in some way. The ones I did ask when I was actively looking. I met some nice girls, but nothing worth purseuing. Or at least none that thought I was worth it. So I took to Internet dating for a little while, mostly through Craigs List and a few loose ends on Myspace. Most turned out to be horrible. A couple alright. I think the first good one I scared away by rambling on about something rediculous and mentioning children. She thought I was saying I wanted her to have my children and thats not something I would ever to say to someone I just met, but what can ya do? Learn to hold my tongue. The next was good, for a few weeks. I thought that was going to go somewhere but we started really butting heads. The typical things really, Iapos;m not affectionate enough, I this, I that. Really we just were not compatible. Happens. Really havnapos;t met anyone worth dating though, thats single and willing that is. Oh well. Sheapos;ll show up when the time is right I guess. I just canapos;t believe itapos;s already been a year since my last girlfriend.

Overall though things are much improved and I think they will continue to get better.� Im in a financial and emotional slump at the moment but nothing I canapos;t handle. Just keep swimming right?

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